A man came into the gallery today and we had a lengthy chat about death and his view was and I quote, “when your time is up, your time is up.” I did not have much of a rebuttal without losing my confidence in his openess around the after life, for my views bathe in the thick milk of Spirituality only.
Donald Trump is tweeting as the President of the United States, there was a shooting at The Fort Lauderdale Airport, and that is JUST 2 bad things about 2017.
2016 ended after several awkward family Christmas’s. I slept on a couch at a house party when the New Years Eve Ball dropped, I spilt a very good pink Negroni on a fuzzy white blanket that wasn’t mine. Colin took my socks and scrubbed out the spill so no one could see, later I didnt have socks on and it was -3 degrees. Exhausted, it was an omen that I barely got out of 2016 alive. Literally, it wouldn’t be the first time. The heavy weight of change is upon me like a rain droplet falling onto an ants back, morphing the insect into a piece of glitter floating in circles around a watery snowglobe…with no way out BUT to wait IT out.
Mercury is going retrograde until tomorrow and it caused my travel plans to cramp up. Colin was driving me to the airport from Lacrosse to Minneapolis and his car stopped working on the highway. My mother came to pick me up. Needless to say I was in for a long night of delayed then cancelled flights from Dallas Fort worth to College Station. The taxi driver dropped me and 5 others off at the Hotel Sheraton in downtown Dallas. Unknowingly the wrong one. 45 minutes later around 2 am at the correct Sheraton I could not sleep. My next flight was in the morning and I could not turn off my inner panic mode to get some shut eye.
Thankfully I am back in Navasota! James (a close friend) picked me up at Easterwood Airport with his pitbull “Viktor” in toe. I missed them. Without those boys in the same state as me it felt like my heart was a deep cream colored wall, in-which a picture was taken off. It leaves a bleached white square behind, pristine but off putting…making you have to fill it with something or redo the whole wall. I decided to paint the wall. I plan on doing that by listening to my heart, and giving people who want to love me a fighting chance.
We stopped at a used clothing store where I bought a few dresses and James was looking for rain gear. He is about to help a friend sail his boat and new life across the Gulf of Mexico, (something James has always wanted to do he tells me.) I started painting as soon as I settled in after being dropped off. I felt the calling of a new “work” inside me. Ringing annoyingly as an alarm going off in a room full of sleeping toddler’s, my head buzzed. An aggressive impulse to paint and possibility to change my life materially this year is starting to be woven into reality. Hopefully a firm foundation for my career that will last year’s to come.
“Fear is the darkroom in which negatives develop.”-A fortune cookie I opened on New Years…