Our meeting with City Council was pleasant last week but I think we left just in time. In any case it was also approaching dinnertime.
This nifty device is highly recommended by healthful self-conscious folk for keeping track of one’s jolly joules by adding up caloric intake. Every basic foodstuff you might ever forage and digest is neatly printed on little sheets and sheathed within this metal pendant-sized booklet. There is a doohickey that slides up from breakfast at 0 calories all the way up to dinner at 3000 calories. I intend to wear mine on a daily basis once I find the crow that flew off with it. They like shiny things.
Another trend is transportation. It makes sense that a human being might need assistance considering the fields sprawl out for miles and miles and it isn’t convenient to go about running everywhere. The model below happens to be a popular one:
Model A is a 4-cylinder, 2-lung horse-powered engine typically expected to run smoothly for at least a decade. Maintenance varies for each specific make but as far as emissions they’re really going ‘green’ for the most part.
This model is a compact version of model A. As you can see from the forlorn expression on the owner’s face, it is not as satisfying a vehicle. When I asked this little man why, he explained to me that is does not quite elevate him high enough from the roving bands of feral dogs that terrorize the plains, and he has had to replace his calfskin boots a number of times as a result.
Now, model C is a hybrid version. Supposedly this version is more durable and ‘intelligent’ than the other versions. I tried to inquire further but this man only seemed interested in conversing about tobacco.
Finally, for those who must travel in fashion, there is this^. With ‘this,’ you’re looking at several gardens of flowers to be cultivating on a regular basis, for one thing. Then you’d have to factor in coordinating schedules from every member in your entourage. And do you really want to be *that guy* getting around town? There’s just simply no economy about it.
I’m still looking for a practical version. Something like this (dream version!!!). When I find it I’ll know it. Until then, back to painting!
*All images are courtesy of the Navasota Public Library Collection & the Russell Cushman Collection, sourced from “Navasota: Images of America” by Robin & Joy Montgomery.
Happy April Fools