This past week I took a spontaneous trip back to Kansas for my Grandmother’s funeral. While I am glad that I was able to make it back for such a lovely funeral, I had quite a few mishaps along the way. And thus I present a “poem” (more like a list) of what NOT to do when when flying home.
1) Leave no less than 3 hours before flight.
2) Forget to check your airlines so that you actually go to the correct airport and/or forget that there are two airports in Houston.
3) Leave your cell phone on top of the trunk of your car, thus resulting in asking the parking shuttle driver to turn around and having to make conversation with your fellow passengers.
4) Bang your iPod on your car door and crack the screen because you were in a hurry to pull it out of USB port and are already late for your flight.
5) Freak out when you find out your flight was delayed and is now leaving from the other airport, only to realize you were at the wrong airport all along.
6) After finally arriving at destination, panic because your shuttle is late, only to have him get you to your drop off spot early.
7) Realize your flight back will take you to the OTHER airport (where your car is NOT parked) and that it will cost $200 to switch.
8) Fly from K.C. to Dallas with a 2 hour layover before flying from Dallas to Houston when you could have just driven to Dallas for a direct flight, thus eliminating the 2 hr layover and replacing it with a 3 hour car drive.
9) Spend $8 on a “healthy” sandwich at the terminal. And another $5 on a “healthy” smoothie.
10) Pay extra for a cross-town cab to get from airport A to airport B (your car) because of prior mishaps.
11) Go to unlock car only to realize that you left your brights on and the battery is now dead. And it’s midnight by this point…
12) Finally get car jumped only to realize you left receipt for parking lot in K.C. and you can’t get out of lot without it.
13) Go to turn on GPS to finally get home only to find that jumping car may have short circuited it and you don’t remember direct route home.
14) Give up and find a cheap motel so you can try again in the morning.
15) Tell your Dad everything and expect him to understand….
Yes, all of these things happened to me on my trip to and from Texas this past week.